Love at First Downward-Facing Dog
Okay so I’m pretty good at yoga. I go to my studio, get blissed out, feel like I’ve spent a little time with God, and afterwards, I absorb this incredible euphoric rush of energy from the universe. Or maybe I’m just dehydrated.
Today, I was feeling it before I even started. I went into class and one of my favorites happened to be subbing; I already knew this class would be amazing. I like to start with a gentle down-dog to loosen up before class. I peer through my underarm to see this guy putting his mat down next to me. Now, it’s counterintuitive, but actually I hate when a hottie does yoga next to me. I mean–“Happy Baby Pose” isn’t my most flattering.
I put him out of my mind, and I had the most amazing practice. Each sun salutation felt like I was flying. My heart opened, my hips opened, and my leg floated behind my head with ease.
I didn’t notice Mr. Yogi until it was time to do a tripod headstand. I was able to get up and stay up for fifteen seconds before I had to come down. He relaxed into the pose and stood on his head for a good minute. Which meant I watched him for a good forty-five seconds. Creepy, I know, but don’t tell me you wouldn’t. I put him out of my mind again and continued class. After, I raced out of the room to secure a spot in the steam room.
I like to make it clear that I’m actually there for the steam and not some raunchy porn fantasy, so I immediately launched into a witty appraisal of tonights class. Mr. Yogi thought I was just hysterical, and I liked laughing with him. Still, though, with all of the steam, we hadn’t quite seen each other.
I felt someone standing a little too close as I changed at my locker. It was him. I looked at him, and for the first time I really saw him. And while I didn’t quite pee myself, I’m pretty sure a little trickle of saliva came streaming down the side of my face.
When we locked eyes it was like I just took my first sip of an ice cold beer after a long day of work. And I can tell he’s equally quenched by me. He’s so interested/interesting. He wants to know what studio I teach at. Teach. That’s pretty groovy. He knows just what to say. We pause and just look at each other, with easy smiles. We linger in our glance, and his eyes twinkle just a bit. I can feel mine do the same. We’re head over heels in love, in just five seconds. I introduce myself. Robby, he says. He doesn’t let go of my hand. I know that I won’t be the first to break the handshake. His hands are just … the most. We reluctantly let go of each other’s hands.
And then just like that, he’s gone. I don’t really remember him dressing, or packing his bag or anything. I sit; I can’t stop smiling. He’s my soul mate. I’ve found him.
It wasn’t till a couple hours later, when I was sitting home, alone, that I realized I only knew his first name didn’t have his phone number or address or anything.
I should have grabbed him in a fit of passion. Robby! I would shout. You complete me! And then we would kiss right in the locker room and then we would separate just long enough to make it outside. Then he’d fling me on his motorcycle and we go racing down the beach. But we wouldn’t stop. We’d just keep riding on forever.
I need a glass of water, quick.